Siphiwe Online
Posted on 23/08/2015 by S'phiwe on Pointless

Magogo – part 1

How was your evening? Mine was like this:

Knock knock…
I open. It’s the seventy something year old neighbour from the 3rd house. She lives with her sister who’s also in her 70s. I once notified them that their one car’s license disk had expired. It turned out that the new one was actually in the car somewhere so I bought them a holder for it. She never forgot me.

She says “Hi. Don’t you have spare prepaid electricity voucher for me please? I’ll pay you tomorrow. It’s too late for me to go out…”
Me: “No,sorry ma’am, I don’t” (not that anybody ever keeps spare vouchers)
She: “Aren’t you going to the shops by any chance? If you could get it for me I’d appreciate.”
Me: “I guess I can go get it for you.” (Getting the hint)
She: “Yea please help magogo! I’d appreciate it”
Me: “OK,I’ll come load it for you when I’m back”

Prepaid electricity is something of a headache. After buying the voucher, there’s a bit of a back-and-forth process for loading the units. That meant hanging out with them until we get texted the token.

Me: Knock Knock
She: “Come in! What’s your name?”
Me: “Siphiwe. I brought you your prepaid voucher”
She: “Why?”
Me: “You asked me to buy it for you and said you’d repay me tomorrow”
She: “Oh,it must matter then. So what must I do with it?”
Me: “Don’t worry,I’ll load it for you”
She: “Oh, it’s the electricity thing!? Thanks so much! I’ve met you before,haven’t I? You bought me my license disk holder last year,didn’t you? You’re very sweet. This is my sister, Trish.”
Trish: “Of course I know Siphiwe,he bought us a license disk….”

They both were smoking up a storm and their two dogs barking up a fit at me. They started telling me stories. They used to live in Hillbrow during its heydays. Trish is friends with Bishop Tutu and she voted ANC,Magogo is friends with Bantu Holomisa and voted for him in the elections but she’s not sure what his party is called. She just looks for his face. Holomisa visits them and his body guards roam around the complex. Trish got sick about 2 months ago and the service at the hospital was so bad, she died.

Trish: “I promise you, I died Siphiwe! The line on that machine was flat for a moment!”

By this point, I’ve prayed for the token to come through and that prayer’s not being answered.

Trish: “You look like Zuma.”
Me: “So I’ve been told…”
Magogo: “You know, I’ve been to Bishop Tutu’s house…”
Trish: “You know, my father almost became bishop in place of Tutu
Me: “Ladies,I unfortunately have to go…”
Trish: “Yea we can’t keep you here. Thanks for the company!”
Trish: “The dog ate two sets of my false teeth….”
Magogo: “I have a degree from the university of life…”
Trish: “My daughter lives in Swaziland….”
Magogo: “You know, in Swaziland, the king must own more than 50% of each business operating there…”

Me: “Unfortunately, I….”
Trish: “Yea we can’t keep you here. Thanks for the company!”

I left.

15 minutes later… Knock knock…
Magogo: “Did you receive the prepaid token yet?”
Me: “As a matter of fact, it just came through. Here it is….”
Magogo: “Please won’t you come help with it?”

The second visit lasted another 15 min or so until I had an “emergency phone call” I survived the smoke inhalation,in case you were wondering.

Yea,how was your Sunday evening again?

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